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The Invention Of Sex An Eyewitness Account Second Half Of Part One the Invention Of Everything
(Suggestion: Read The First Half of Part One First)
“What?”
“Brush burns.”
“What do you mean?”
“What are we making the skin out of, vinyl?”
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ET Phone Home
Last week I felt like the mother in the commercial, where her son shows her a good report card, and she starts to cry. My son is growing up. He pulled up his grades. I wish he could do the same for h
Mobile Disco Quick Before They Lock Us In
I was roadie for Martyn Brown on one of his mobile disco shows last week. As you may know, one of Martyn's home businesses is running a mobile disco agency where he is self employed as a disc jockey.
Rumsfeld Appoints Self Retired General Rushes To Own Defense
Donald Rumsfeld, under fire from a platoon of retired generals who have called for his resignation, went on the offensive by appointing himself a retired general.
Accompanied by a curren
Field Notes on Country Linguistics
As Susie stammered, my ears perked up. For distraction I called out, “Hey Kathy, put on another pot of coffee.” Suzy spoke again. The fact is gouging my own eyes out with a ketchup bottle would not h
U S Ends Oil Dependency Turns B S Into Fuel
While America is experiencing a gasoline shortage, the nation’s dependence on foreign oil is about to end.
A researcher at The Department of Energy, from which breakthrough ideas emanate
Bin Laden Dead Or Alive Since Nobody s Sure We Wrote Both Articles
Bin Laden Dead
Osama Bin Laden is dead.
We know this for certain, because, after five years of knowing only that he had access to a tape recorder, we were bound to know at l
Honey Do List Gone Wild For Unemployed Men
Wash the damn car
Seal the driveway
Clean the air filters
Empty the vacuum bag
Cut the frigging grass
Organize the garage
Paint
See that chair, don't
The American Umpire Conducting The American Empire In A Way That s As Fair As The Calls In Yankee Stadium
We were sitting here trying, as usual, to figure out how today’s America, saddled with the burdens of inadvertent empire, could conduct itself in the world so Americans are happy about how we’re doin
Oil Update From Bp A Bear Ate The Pipeline
Earlier reports that BP closed its Alaska pipeline due to corrosion have turned out to be erroneous. The company, noticing growing rancor that it would allow such a vital link to corrode to the point
Quick Question Does God Advocate Murder
It appears, scandalously enough, to be the question Islamic terrorism foists on us. Of course, there are times when a chancy question can diplomatically be allowed to slip by unanswered, especially b
Cruise Takes A Bruise
Viacom gave Tom Cruise the bruise of his career – or, more exactly, its cantankerous chairman, Sumner Redstone, did, for behavior unbecoming an employee of the entertainment giant, saying Cruise’s sh
Depressed Rabbit Attempts Suicide
A male rabbit named Furball had lost all hope. The female rabbit he had lived with for an entire year had left him for another rabbit. The owner of the garden he usually dined at had just put a fence
Oui Monsieur The French Are Not Immune Si Signore Even The Pope Must Do The Rope A Dope
In a world caught up in effects, with scant attention being paid to causes, we find that France – which has, in the understatement of the current issue, abstained from a full-throttle commitment to t
Noam Chomsky Gets A Bestseller The Incriminating Way
Noam Chomsky, the innovative linguist on the left, went from the relatively placid life of a leading scholar to a major presentation by Hugo Chavez at the UN, who held up as recommended reading one o
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